Chill permeates the frost-covered grass
And bare trees rustle quietly.
Grey skies loom, threatening war
And wind slices your breath
When it leaves your lips.
A snowflake falls.
Zip your coat,
Winter’s
Here.
Photo courtesy of Paul Green at Unsplash
Winter
Danielle Dayney 
12 responses to “Winter”
Brr. That image of the wind slicing breath is fantastic.
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Thanks, Jennifer!
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Reminds me of Michigan! And I do so love weather smut! Well done!
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I think Michigan was actually on my mind when I wrote it! I remember our harshest winter having a week long stretch of 15 below. I get the chills just thinking about it!
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The wind slicing my breath is the image that will stay with me. I also really liked the threat of the grey skies. I wanted this to be a little more economical with its words, for instance, “quietly” isn’t necessary because “rustling” is quiet by definition, and “chill permeating frosty grass” is redundant.
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Oh, I see what you’re saying. I was trying my best to evoke a quiet winter scene, but I understand what you mean. I’ll try the nonet again. It was fun.
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Winter’s coming. This took me to GOT
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I still have to give that show a second chance. Only ever made it through the first episode.
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I also love the “slices” line, and how winter is “threatening war.” It ramped up the tension from ordinary cold to something more dangerous. The single snowflake falling almost felt like the flag or gesture that starts a battle, if that makes sense!
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Very nice. I felt the chill.:-)
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I really like this poem, well done.
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beautiful poem
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