Seconds slowly slip through fingers
Time ticks by, it’s lost forever
Blood has spilt and still it lingers
Seconds slowly slip through fingers
Tomorrow is our last endeavor
Seconds slowly slip through fingers
Time ticks by, it’s lost forever
Photo by Heather Zabriskie
Danielle Dayney 
13 responses to “Tick, Tock”
Beautiful and haunting, Danielle! I love the blood has spilt line. It gives a dark spin to this triolet. Well done!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! The debate may or may not have helped with this one…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love how this sounds like a ticking clock. My favorite line: Tomorrow is our last endeavor
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! So glad you got the ticking clock part!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was really fantastic. I can still hear it in my head
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love how this starts off dark, but there is a ray of hope in “tomorrow is our last endeavor”. So beautifully written!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Hema! There’s always a silver lining 🙂
LikeLike
“tomorrow is our last endeavor.” The hope, I hope there is always a tomorrow. Beautiful poem. So relevant.
LikeLike
Beautiful poem, Danielle. I am certainly not a poetry expert by any stretch, but I think you are missing a line. A triolet has 8 lines, and you need a new “a” line at line 5.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shoot!
LikeLike
I tried to fix it, but I can’t think of another line right now because I’m chasing kiddos. I guess it’s my own twist on a triolet 😉
LikeLike
Even though it’s not quiet a triolet, this is still really powerful! The “seconds slowly” refrain is emphatic, and “Blood has spilt and still it lingers” is such a gorgeous line. All the “s” sounds throughout add to the feeling of desperation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Ruby! I’m kind of kicking myself for missing that line. I even took notes from Rowan’s slam she posted. Still missed that extra line. Oh well…
LikeLike