Tick, Tock

Seconds slowly slip through fingers

Time ticks by, it’s lost forever

Blood has spilt and still it lingers

Seconds slowly slip through fingers

Tomorrow is our last endeavor

Seconds slowly slip through fingers

Time ticks by, it’s lost forever

 

Photo by Heather Zabriskie

Categories poetry, UncategorizedTags , , , , , , , , , ,

13 thoughts on “Tick, Tock

  1. Beautiful and haunting, Danielle! I love the blood has spilt line. It gives a dark spin to this triolet. Well done!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks! The debate may or may not have helped with this one…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how this sounds like a ticking clock. My favorite line: Tomorrow is our last endeavor

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! So glad you got the ticking clock part!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was really fantastic. I can still hear it in my head

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love how this starts off dark, but there is a ray of hope in “tomorrow is our last endeavor”. So beautifully written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Hema! There’s always a silver lining 🙂

      Like

  4. “tomorrow is our last endeavor.” The hope, I hope there is always a tomorrow. Beautiful poem. So relevant.

    Like

  5. Beautiful poem, Danielle. I am certainly not a poetry expert by any stretch, but I think you are missing a line. A triolet has 8 lines, and you need a new “a” line at line 5.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tried to fix it, but I can’t think of another line right now because I’m chasing kiddos. I guess it’s my own twist on a triolet 😉

      Like

  6. Even though it’s not quiet a triolet, this is still really powerful! The “seconds slowly” refrain is emphatic, and “Blood has spilt and still it lingers” is such a gorgeous line. All the “s” sounds throughout add to the feeling of desperation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Ruby! I’m kind of kicking myself for missing that line. I even took notes from Rowan’s slam she posted. Still missed that extra line. Oh well…

      Like

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