I stood in the Barbie aisle beside my mother in Kmart with a crumpled green ten-dollar bill secured in my grasp. Choosing a doll from the hundred pieces of plastic perfection posed between cellophane and cardboard with my own hard-earned money at ten wasnβt easy. I imagined buying all of them and how I’d play with each. There was blonde Peaches and Cream Barbie – a doll with a cream-colored gown who smelled like dessert, an Island Fun Ken doll with a Hawaiian swimsuit and a pink and orange lay, and Rollerblade Kira. She had long, dark hair like mine and yellow roller blades that sparked when they moved across the ground. I had seen commercials for each.
βWhich one do you want?β Mom asked.
βThat one,β I said, deciding. I pointed to Kira. βShe’s pretty.β I liked her turquoise top and biker shorts, and her neon yellow knee pads. Her skin resembledΒ Momβs in the summer after she tanned, golden-brown. When I grabbed her from the shelf, the plastic crinkled beneath my pale fingers. I imagined what it would be like to push her along on the kitchen floor and watch her roller blades ignite.
βThat’s a great choice.β She smiled. I interlocked my fingers with hers, and we walked to the cashier with the doll pinnedΒ between my side and my arm. She was my new favorite, different from any doll I had at home. Special.
In line, an elderly white lady smirked at me from behind her bifocals. I could smell the mothballs on her stuffy pink polyester pants. βHmf,β she said as she curled the left side of her lip and crossed her arms over her flowered smock.
I clung to Momβs legs and hid behind them. I didnβt like strangers, especially smelly old ladies with nasty looks on their faces.
Mom tightened her grip on my hand and encouraged me to ignore her. When it was our turn, I placed my doll in the middle of the conveyor belt with my wad of money on top and looked away from the lady behind us.
βShouldn’t she buy a white doll?β the lady demanded.
βThat’s a silly question, isnβt it?β Mom said, her voice sweet like syrup. She batted her eyelashes and gave the old lady a phony smile with too many teeth showing.
The lady huffed and rolled her eyes.
The cashier handed me my new doll in a grocery bag and put the change in my palm.
Mom nudged me towards the exit. Outside she said, “Remember – Β donβt let people like that influence you, Danielle. Be smarter.”
Photo courtesy ofΒ Pixabay



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